Fab February!!!

I have not written or published anything in a couple of weeks so I thought I would play a little catch up tonight. I haven’t posted mainly because I seem to have something going on all the time. I vowed I was going to write a poem a week when the New Year began but I am suffering a small bout of writers block at the moment. Everything is going great in my life right now and I am suffering no personal crisis and fortunately or unfortunately, my best work seems to come from these. I make notes of lyrics, lines and ideas in my journal that come into my mind to revisit later and this has paid off a couple of times. But for now, I just “write to write”. Let’s see…. where do I begin? Hmmmm…how about my “Fabulous February”. So far this month I have:

* Attended a poetry reading in downtown St. Pete.
* Went on a photo shoot for head shots with a friend of mine.
* Attended a going away party for some dear friends moving out of state.
* Performed in the church annual Starlight production. The most fun I have had in one of those yet!! I was covered in sweat every night after the antics and pathetic attempt at dance, but it was hilarious! (Oh how I do miss theatre!)
* Saw a production of a cute comedy at Catherine Hickman Theatre in Gulfport. Never been there before and it is a charming and modern little venue. Would love to perform there someday.
* I was introduced to a new lady friend through a mutual theatre couple who are trying to play matchmaker.
* Finally got the opportunity to go on a night out at MacDintons, an Irish Pub on South Howard in Tampa. (or SoHo as the locals call it.) I wasn’t going to go initially because it is such a long drive for me to come home after a couple of cocktails but my date told me a really good band was playing. Coincidentally, it was my friends “The Crime Band” so I end up going and turning it into a photo shoot for their website. (And had one too many cocktails as I feared.)
* My job, while busy and hectic, is going extremely well right now. I can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel. The travel is still a major pain. I have a trip a month to Chicago, Anaheim or New York for the next 6 to 8 months. I would love to take some time off and travel for the fun of it and not for work.
* I just finished an absolutely wonderful motivational book that an acquaintance gave to me when I was feeling down. It was exactly what I needed, exactly when I needed it! And while this may seem somewhat sacrilegious, it is my new Bible when it comes to playing this game called life!
* I saw “Movin’ Out” at the Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center and loved it!
* Got my taxes finished, found an extra unexpected deduction and received a nice tax refund this year.
* And finally, I have tickets to go see all my friends in “Beauty and the Beast” this weekend at O’clock Theatre in Largo. Really looking forward to it.

I’m sure I am forgetting something as it has been “Go, Go, Go” all month. But all in all, life is beautiful, wondrous and blessed. I will write more on the above topics individually in the near future. I also have a busy March ahead of me both professionally, socially and culturally. Many local events I want to see, attend and visit. Oh yes, I have a birthday and I will be turning “41”!! (Dammit!) I just wanted to apprise every one of where I have been and what I’ve been up to. I’ll try and publish again soon.

TAH

Night shots of St. Pete

A friend and I went to the museum the other evening to see a photo exhibit but discovered that it closed at 5 PM. Undeterred, we saw a movie, had dinner and a beer at one of my favorite places and then froze our butts off while taking night shots of the St. Pete Pier and the city. The last shot is actually of the Tampa skyline as seen across Tampa Bay from St. Pete. Night photography is so difficult. Especially in 20 to 30 mile an hour winds blowing the tripod around. I found a remote control for the camera to minimize movement and shake and we managed to get these.

TAH

Experiment in Flora

I took these a couple of weeks ago in friend’s flower garden experimenting with close up shots and different lens and aperture settings. Nice ones of the flowers and an interesting one of the spider’s egg pouch. I never could find the spider though.

TAH

A Valentines Day Quote

"Valentine's Day is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap."

Joel (Jim Carrey) from The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

A cold and cozy Sunday

This past week has been murder at work and I expect another this week. Every night I had some personal commitment, meeting or had to work on editing photos from a recent photo shoot. I planned on working today but my fellow associate at work assisting with this project talked me into staying home and we will deal with it all tomorrow. I’m glad I took her advice. Other than running two errands today which took all of 45 minutes and catching up on laundry, I have done nothing but relax and I needed it! It is “Florida” cold here today and I love it. The temperature is in the 50’s but with the 20 to 30 mile an hour winds, it feels much colder. Now if you are from the North, you are probably laughing at the fact that I think this is cold, but after you have lived in beautiful, sunny Florida for as many years as I have, your blood thins a bit. When it gets in the low 60’s I have to break out a jacket. When I first moved here, I used to make fun of people for doing the same thing I do now as the temperature dips. Today I read the paper in bed while drinking coffee, played around on the computer, read my current book for awhile, gave my old dog some much needed affection, took a long nap, built a fire in the fireplace which is seldom used, opened a nice bottle of Cabernet with a dinner that consisted of fruit, meat and cheese topped off with pieces of dark chocolate for dessert. I am now finishing a cup of Earl Grey tea while writing this in a flannel pajama pants, a thermal shirt and terry cloth bathrobe. Ahhhhh, the little things in life can sometimes be the most important and meaningful. “The Replacements” is on TV in the background and it is one of my favorite comedic football movies. I am so stress free right now it is unbelievable. I could get used to this!! But, unfortunately, tomorrow I have to go back and face the music to pay the bills. Until then, it has been a much needed and most relaxing day.

I look forward to another one like it soon. Have a great week everyone!

P.S. I have had 71 hits to this blog today. Wow! A new record! I appreciate you all dropping by to visit, but drop me a note or comment as well. I would love to meet you if I have not already. You can never have too many friends.

Requiem for a Knight

Requiem for a Knight

Family heraldry flutters high upon thy pike,
Host of battles flying tattered and torn,
Silken name honored from time it was born.
Sword drawn, these earthly wrongs made right.

Evident damage upon olden crest and shield,
Like the flesh of thy body covered in scars,
Each hath a name from lands near and far,
Victorious or conquered, courage never yields.

Passionate crusades delivering thee to vast harbors,
Worldly journeys leading thine heart port to port,
Defending truth with wisdom within each new court,
Craving a mortal’s rest, a poor knight in rusty armor.

TAH

Words of wisdom from C.S. Lewis

Occasionally some of you literary on-line voyeurs will drop in for a visit and send me your comments on my writing and poetry. And for that I am eternally grateful. For those of you that know me, the source of all these thoughts and poetry is not unknown to you. As for the others, you are probably wondering where all this comes from. The short of it my friends is that I lost someone very close to me over the holidays. The details and names are not important. Suffice it to say that it was a romance that went sour and I was caught unaware. I suffered the same heartbreak we all do when we’ve been deceived by the ones we care for and I deal with that on a daily basis and the healing process that comes with it. However, the reason I write this evening is that it is important to point out that I am a changed person because of what happened. Not for the worse as you might suspect, but for the better. Five years ago I went through an incredibly similar situation which ended in the divorce of a long marriage. As a result, I became very bitter with a hardened heart and put up all the defensive walls that we do to protect ourselves from being hurt again. I lived that way through other relationships since then and never achieved true happiness or let anyone “in”. That is to say, until last year when this most recent romance started. Unfortunately it ended, in much the way the marriage did. But what is important to note is that I let my walls and barriers down, laid my heart and soul bare and allowed myself to love someone more than myself, and liked it!! What is the lesson here? The way I see it is that I am currently at a crossroads and I have a decision to make. Do I take the path to left and go back down that road of bitterness and defensiveness? Or do I take the path to the right and learn from this, accept the fact that I did everything right and I cannot control the actions of others? And if I take this path I must realize that the other person must live with their actions and if I let it consume me, I am empowering them to control my happiness. This time around, I learned a valuable lesson. I still have the capacity to “love” even though I didn’t think I still had it in me. Regrettably I seem to fall for the wrong person every time but I must take responsibility for the fact that I put myself in that situation and allowed myself to be hurt. No one else, just “me”. People like you and I know we are good, honest and true and we cannot control what other people in our lives do with these traits we offer them. Yes, they can use us and hurt us and sometimes they do. But if we do not put ourselves “out there” and take a chance, how will we ever find “that one” who will truly appreciate us for what we are and all we have to offer? The person who hurt us must also live with their actions and the consequences that come with them. Their problems are no longer our problem in their absence. I have chosen to take the road to the “right” and do what is right.

I have recently taken on the task of studying, in “snippets”, the works and writings of C.S. Lewis. If you saw the recent movie “Chronicles of Narnia”, it was based on his fantasy novels but that is not all he was known for. I have not had the time to do any serious scholarly work on his writings as of yet but I am putting it on my “to do” calendar. What many may not realize is that C.S. Lewis was also a profound writer of theology, secularism and the merging of the two. It is because of this and the similarities of his beliefs compared to my own, that I have become somewhat enamored with his work of late. He had great wisdom when addressing the challenges that we as people face on a day to day basis. I have been mentoring with someone who is very familiar with his philosophies and beliefs and we were discussing the things of which I speak now. Mainly the topic of “love” and its effects on us either for evil or good. We came across this passage from Sir Lewis and I wanted to share it with any of you who have ever been used, abused, deceived by those who feigned love for you resulting in your hardened hearts and defensive walls. May these words of wisdom guide you, sustain you and give you hope. Those of us with the highest walls of defense are usually those with the greatest capacity for love and caring.

I give you a passage from the writings of C.S. Lewis:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries, avoid all entanglements, lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. And in that casket of selfishness your heart begins to change. It becomes hard, unbreakable, irredeemable.

The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love, is Hell.”

These are wise words my friends. Whether you are spiritual or humanist, you can substitute the words Heaven and Hell for your own visions of light and dark. But please remember, the day we stop learning is the day we stop living. I have learned that I can still love someone, whether they are deserving of it or not. And I look forward to the day when it knocks on my door again. And when it does, I will not close the door, I will open it wide with open arms. Let’s hope I am wise enough to recognize it when it does come calling. Let us hope we all are.

TAH